Leading When Emotions Run High
Imagine this. You are transitioning into a new leadership level in your organization, but before you’ve had the chance to establish yourself, you discover a direct report has gone over your head to make a decision.
Your emotions are running high. You might feel disrespected by this person’s actions or maybe even disappointed. In this moment, you now have the choice to react or respond with intentional leadership.
High-pressure situations, workplace conflicts, differing opinions and challenging personalities can test even the most experienced leaders. But leaders who prioritize developing themselves and others by honing their emotional intelligence skills, can learn how to maintain composure under pressure and create a high-performance culture, even in tense situations and trying times.
So, how can leaders recognize and manage the ever-changing emotions in the workplace and elevate their team’s success in the process?
Let’s take a closer look.
Understanding emotional triggers and workplace dynamics
As a leader, it’s important to elevate your effectiveness in these situations, and a significant part of that is learning to recognize your own assumptions and emotional triggers. If left unchecked, these can escalate tensions, causing you to react defensively rather than respond strategically.
Assumptions that impact your leadership
Assumptions shape how you interpret situations and, therefore, how you respond. Some common ones in the workplace include:
- assumptions of a direct report’s intent
- misalignment of values
- any unmet (and usually unsaid) expectations
Once you’ve identified your assumptions, ask yourself questions to get clarity on your situation. Based on the scenario above, you could ask yourself the following:
- Do I have the facts on the situation, or are my interpretations of the facts (my assumptions) what truly upsets me?
- What other explanations for this person’s behavior are possible?
- Have I communicated my expectations clearly?
- Or another powerful question to test assumptions, What am I making up that I don’t know to be true?
Emotional triggers that impact your leadership
Just like assumptions influence your thoughts, emotions will influence your actions, and choosing how to respond requires high emotional intelligence.
Emotions can trigger behaviours and actions (either positive or otherwise) when leaders feel:
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- disregarded or dismissed
- perceived to be incompetent
- caught off guard
- proud, accomplished or enabled
Managing emotions is a skill required of leaders during challenging times and times of great success. Leaders who observe their emotional triggers including changes in their body (faster breathing, pacing, sweaty palms etc.), are more aware and better able to influence the outcome they achieve by intentionally controlling their response and shaping the impact they have on others.
Recognizing these triggers is the first step towards managing them, which is key to emotional intelligence for leaders. Harvard Business School defines emotional intelligence as “the ability to understand and manage your emotions, as well as recognize and influence the emotions of those around you.”
How you can use centering in conflict situations
1. Pause between moments
Instead of rushing from one situation to the next, take a brief pause before your next meeting (30 seconds is often all that is needed). This allows time to mentally transition and refocus.
2. Deep breathing
This is a simple but powerful way to calm the nervous system, reduce stress, and increase the probability of maintaining your composure.
3. Mental reset
Consciously set aside previous discussions or tensions to fully engage in the present moment and prevent emotional carryover from one conflict to another. Choose to perceive from neutral, without attachment to judgement or bias.
4. Set an intention
Before entering a conversation, take 30 seconds to ask yourself:
- What’s my goal and intended impact in this situation?
- What do others involved need from me?
- Am I walking in with preconceived assumptions?
Sometimes it’s as simple as taking a few deep breaths and pausing to reflect on the desired outcomes of the situation, and your role in leading those outcomes, before jumping right in and reacting.
How you can use centering in conflict situations
Stressful workplace situations are inevitable, and how you handle them determines whether you enhance or hinder your team’s performance.
The best leaders recognize their triggers, challenge their assumptions, and use strategies like centering to reset and refocus. Through leadership development training and professional coaching, leaders can develop the emotional intelligence skills needed to navigate high-pressure situations with confidence and lead their teams with clarity and intention.
